How Cool Is That

So while I didn't check my blog over the weekend, a fellow blogger over at www.bookworship.blogspot.com awarded me the "You Make My Day Award." It is really cool that somebody other that S, is reading my blog and appreciates my awkward humor and odd observations, and all the other stuff I write about in this blog! In turn I get to select 10 bloggers that make my day and give them the award.

I read blogs from all over, book blogs, celebrity gossip blogs, people in the service industry, and all sorts of others that I get linked to, but here are my top ten favorites, that I always turn to and they all seem to male my day!

The waiter @ www.waiterrant.net

Kate @ www.kaitable.blogspot.com

Bibliolatrist@ www.bookworship.blogspot.com

Lesley@ www.alifeinbooks.com

Mimi@ www.miminewyork.blogspot.com

The doorman@ www.standingonthebox.blogspot.com

The folks @ www.overheardinnewyork.com

Perez@ www.perezhilton.com (Don't judge me)

Lobster boy @ www.rlserver.blogspot.com (Red Lobster Blog)

Secret@ www.allprowaiter.blogspot.com ( The Insane Waiter)

See they all make my day and I hope they make yours! Thanks for the award!

Just a Question...

Why does a commercial for nasal spray need to have the disclaimer... "Do not spray this product in your eyes." Isn't that kind of obvious, its a nasal spray, hence it should go in your nose. Really have the people in this country gotten that stupid?

Ugh, I guess so!

Soccer Anyone?

So yesterday was the day after the last day of returns at my store, because the textbook business is a non-traditional business in order to preserve our sales we have to set a solid deadline for returns, and it is very rare for us to make an exception. That is not to say we are unfair about this either. We post huge signs throughout the store, we attach a brightly colored piece of paper to everybodys reciept stating the refund policy, and each cashier is trained to tell the customer that last day for returns when we hand them the reciept. With this said, there is always that person that thinks they are better than the rest of the people who obey the rules, and they think that we should make an exception because they are who they are!

Boy did I have a real winner when it came to that sense of entitlement yesterday! I was standing at the customer service desk helping out when a woman walks up and asks if she can do a return. She starts off by saying that she knows she is one day late, but I should obviously be able to make an exception for her because she just wasn't able to get down here yesterday. She pulls the book and reciept out of her bag and I take a look at the paperwork and explain to her that she is indeed right that the last day for her to make a return on this book was February 11, as she had said, and I was unable to make an exception. This did not please her so she asked how she was supposed to know that the 11th was the last day for returns, I calmly point out that it is printed on the bottom of the receipt, as well as printed in bold letters on the bright orange piece of paper attached to the receipt (and she obviously know because as aformentioned, she said she knew she was one day late!) This did not satisfy her, she still was not convinced that she knew the last day was February 11, because after all was she really expected to look at her reciept. I then pointed out the HUGE signs with the last day for returns posted all over the textbook department and at that moment a cashier also informed the customer of the return policy, so I also mentioned that all of our cashiers are trained to remind the customer of the return date verbally.

She could tell that this argument wasn't getting her anywhere so she moved on to her next argument. She insisted next that the book she wanted to return was only recommended by her professor, but the bookstore had listed it as required. Well since I had put up toe recommended shelf tag for this title, and I was aware that the physics department always lists this as a recommended title. She didn't believe me so I brought her over to the shelf tag and showed her that we had listed this book as recommended. If we had made a mistake (and the professor or department notified us of this) I would have given her a refund if she had brought it back, but we hadn't, so unfortunately for her she was not going to get a refund.

She seemed to be running out of arguments, so I took this opportunity to tell her that the best thing she could do was either try to find another student who wanted a copy of this recommended text, or try to sell it back at the end of the semester and get 50% back for the book, because it would definately be used again. Well, of course she didn't like this response and she began to raise her voice and demand to speak with a manager. I tell her that I am the AGM, but I could get my boss if she liked, since my boss was dealing with another return on the next register he had heard the entire interaction. She is frustrated that I am not making an exception and I try to explain the reason I can't make an exception to this policy.

I never raise my voice and I am very calm with her when she blurts out, "Well what the fuck do you want me to do with this book then!" I refrain from telling her to shove it up her ass and once again reiterate her options. She then begins cursing and throws the hundred dollar book on the floor and kicks it across my sales floor, she then runs after it and kicks it again and again, all the while cursing. She is like a rabid animal who has lost the ability to control herself. I step out from behind the register and try to regain control of this customer as she continues to kick the book, this time up my escalator, which I turn off on her because if that book gets caught it will cost me thousands of dollars to fix. I follow her up the "stairs" calmly and without raising my voice, tell her that I need to ask her to leave the store, if she wishes to sell back the book at the end of the semester she can do this as long as she promises not to create another scene in my store. I pick up the book off of the floor, hand her the reciept and wish her a good evening. She does not take kindly to this and tell me to go do something to myself (almost the same as what I refrained from telling her to do with the book). I finally escort her out of the store, and return to the lower level where the customers and my employees all seem to be in shock.

My manager looks at me and just laughs!

I look at him and say, " Man, I have never seen anybody think that playing soccer with a book that costs 100 buck will help them get a return."

All in a days work, gotta love the public!

S's Response

Well, I guess I should just make him a regular contributer to the blog, but his response was just so S that I couldn't resist...

"S" said...
Ok, I feel SOOOOOOOO much better now! And for other readers of this blog, let's be clear about one thing....I was not the one who called a green light blue. I have done some retarded shit in my day, BUT I did pass kindergarten with FLYING COLORS (pun intended).And also, I LOVED dancing drunk around the living room, although i doubt the folks who lives upstairs appreciated the blaring DTS audio that was coming from my apartment until 5:30 in the morning....OH, and no matter how much i try, there is just no use in trying to talk you out of your boy craziness. You always listen, and then disregard. It's like in one ear and out the other....Which sometimes works out well for you, admittedly. ANDDDDDD.....You are moving to NY next year some time. I won't have it any other way!<3-S

Also, I have a hilarious post that I need to post later tonight!

He is So Demanding

So, S was upset because I haven't posted much about him in a while, well at least there hasn't been a dedicated S post in a while, here is what he said in the comment section of a post that had nothing to do with him...

Ok, I just noticed that there hasn't been a dedicated "S Post" since SEPTEMBER!!!! What the dilly yo?? I talk to you multiple times a day! I feel neglected on the blog though....Do I need to go away again to get some good face time on here or what??-S

Well, it is true it has been a few months since I have dedicated a post to S, so here is a post dedicated to you S.

I mean its not like its that hard to dedicate a post to you, we do talk multiple times a day on the phone. We even went out to Epic one night recently (it was fun because we havent been out together since the cape I think) then after we went out I drove you back to your house and we went inside and danced around your living room to your Ivete Sangalo DVD, normal people probably think we are nuts but we had a good time.

And I see you every Wednesday night, it is always an entertaining evening and I am going to be sad when you go back to NYC next summer for that really cool internship you are going to score at one of the top financial firms. You bastard I can't believe you are going away again this summer! Although, you are trying to convince me to get a job in NYC in the next year so that we can hang out down there all the time.

And seriously, there is nobody else who can honestly tell me how crazy I am (and be right about it) when it comes to the boys in my life (or the boy).

Ah yes, and those are my actual eyes in my new facebook pictures, I swear.

Anyway, I guess I don't post about you when you are around because I always seem to sort out my madness with you on the phone or you seem to sort out your madness with me. Plus, you haven't done anything ridiculously stupid that I can make fun of you about on here- like call a green light blue etc etc!

WOW

It is still sinking in and I am not sure that I will ever be able to do the book justice or the author for that matter but I just finished reading on Friday morning the most amazing book. Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy who in my mind is the best american writer ever. Like I was saying, it is still sinking in but my mouth dropped as I read the last page of this journey. The judge is the most amazingly well developed and interesting characters (and incarnations of evil) in all of literature, and the book ends with the beautiful and heartwrenching line, "He is dancing, dancing. He says that he will never die." Anyway here is my attempt to sum up the beauty and violence and the amazing writing in this book...

This book is about men surviving on the frontier, violent men who live their lives according to the "rules" of violence. There are vivid images of violence, but also the spiritual imagery and the conflict between those who are simply no-good and those who are truly evil, these images create an unforgettable world of despair where carnage is law and survival is redemption. The story follows the kid, a fourteen-year old drifter, across the Texas border into Mexico where he joins a group of mercenaries traveling through the desert killing Indians and selling their scalps. And then there is the judge, an all encompassing character who you are terrified of but the reader also develops a love for his character. Judge Holden is a charming and gentlemanly renaissance man who also happens to be also be the "devil" He defines success as control and the means to this control is violence and war. Through the characters experiences the reader sees a world stripped of morality.

McCarthy has created a beautiful and frustrating world, that terrifies and thrills the reader. It is beautifully written and I am not sure any other novel will measure up.

Labeling Is Fun

So over the last three days I spent way too much time going through this blog and creating labels for all of the posts and labeling them. I however, think that it was worth it because now just by clicking on a label you can go to all of the posts with that label. It adds some functionality to the blog, I like that. Anyway, here are the labels and what they mean, some might be confusing...

"Happy" Holidays- these entries cover all of the fun that I have at the bookstore during the holiday season.
Bad Service Pisses Me Off- if you have read my blog before you know that I hate when I get bad service, and I don't hesitate to spread the word, now you can easily find all those places you should never go because their customer service blows.
Blogging About Blogging- all those posts about this blog or other blogs
Books- reviews, mentions, comments etc about books or just posts where I discuss books in general, hey I am a manager of a bookstore there are going to be a lot of these.
Celebs- for those times when I just can resist making fun of a celebrity
City Living- the honest joys of living in the city, and the shit I don't like either
Crazy Customers- all those nutty people I deal with working retail on a day to day basis
Fun at the Gym- I hate the ametuers at the gym they drive me nuts, if you are going to the gym please go for an honest workout
Fun in the Summertime- The beach, rollerblading, kyacking and the general happiness that accompanies the summer months in Boston
Getting A Job- All of those crazy things people do when they are trying to get a job at the bookstore
Gross- all the gross things I come across either reading, at the gym, at work, etc
Hatred- just hope that you don't end up in one of these posts, yes hate is a strong word and I reserve it for those people and things I hate.
Jury Duty- 3 weeks of hell, but some good blog posts
Just My Luck- All those things that could only happen to me
Learning Experiences- the good and bad things that I have learned lessons from
Los Gatos- My cats (Bob and Tipsy) and their "adventures"
Me Time- things I do for me
New Toys- I like my electronics and I always share my joy
Out With The Boys- or girls or boys and girls- the time I spend out or in hanging out with friends Politics- I was a poli-sci major at NU so I am going to feel a need to comment on politics (Go Hilary) and other things
Problems with Basic Tasks- I like to consider myself smart but sometimes I have trouble with basic tasks usually resulting in injury or burning down the house
Quality Service- I'll talk about good customer service as well
Random- stuff that doesn't fit into other categories, or is just totally random in nature
S Posts- posts that are for or about S
The Bookstore- all of my bookstore jobs trips and experiences- its work and it causes stress sometimes so there are a lot of these posts
The Family- i love my family- these posts involve them in some way
TV- ah my other addiction that sometimes I feel a need to comment on
Will I Ever Be Happy- relationship stuff- hmmm this is kinda an up and down label

Those are the labels I have right now, I may add some, who knows, we can see how it works.

I'm So Excited (about books)

So while I was doing some book research the other day for titles that I thought we should sell at my store, or put on tables etc, I came across three books that I am very excited about. They are no huge works of literature but they are fun summer reads from two of my favorite crazy authors and one book from one of my favorite blogs....

On April 29, 2008 Augusten Burroughs new book A Wolf at the Table comes out, you all know Augusten from Running with Scissors and Dry and also his uproariously funny stories in Magical Thinking and Possible Side Effects. I love all of his books and I am looking forward to another fun trip with this one.

Another favorite, David Sedaris, has his new book coming out on June 3, the title has changed a couple of times in Bn.com and amazon.com but it is currently listed as Indefinite Leave to Remain. His last collection of stories, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim was hilarious and help me deal with my move back to Boston by providing me with a fun escape.

A blogging favorite, the Waiter from Waiterrant.com has his new book coming out on July 29. I hope his book is incredibly successful, I know I look forward to reading this one and hand selling it in my store.

Also, out now, for those of you who are huge fans of Zafon's Shadow of the Wind, a new book by C.J Sansom, Winter in Madrid is supposed to be excellent. I still haven't read it but it is on my list simply because a number of reviewers have compared it to Shadow of the Wind.

Brunch with the Governor

So today we showed up to brunch at Stella, one of our usual Sunday brunch spots, and as we walked in we were told that we picked a good day to stop in for brunch because Governor Deval Patrick and Senator Kerry were holding a fundraiser at the restaurant. It was kinda cool to not only share brunch with friends but with the leading lawmakers in our state.

Okay, well not exactly with them but in the same restaurant.

Heartless?

Three weeks ago I was waiting for the train at Downtown Crossing in Boston, when a woman comes onto the platform and starts telling all of the passengers about how she cant buy a bus ticket because a man who was much larger than her had stolen her backpack and she had a diabetic child at home in New Hampshire and all she needed was 30 dollars. She was stranded and she wanted the nice people of Boston to help her get home. She had gone to the police and Amtrak (clearly a bus company) and nobody offered to replace her ticket. She was wearing pajamas and had makeup running down her face. She plead and plead and a number of other passengers offered her some of the spare change that they had in their pockets. I however, did not make eye contact, I felt bad and this was a sad story but for some reason something just didn't seem right. I had heard the story before and felt bad for them, but had living in the city for 9 years made me heartless? Was it possible that I just didn't care about the people around me. I kept thinking about this poor woman and wondering what had become of her... until yesterday!

Yesterday I was running late for work and the red line was running so insanely slow I was getting frustrated. I was standing on the platform trying to read Blood Meridian which is a gut wrenching book and ignore the people around me. I get to a point where the violence in the chapter is peaking and because the book is so well written my adrenaline is rising as well... all of a sudden I hear an all too familiar voice, "LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, I NEED YOUR HELP!"

You have got to be fucking kidding me, same station three weeks apart, must have gotten stranded again, damn this bitch has bad luck! Unless it was the same big black man that had stolen her backpack. But this time she was the one that was diabetic all she had was her insulin and she was 3 months pregnant now (but no child). Well first of all if she is three months pregnant she needs to lay off the meth, and second its amazing that the diabetes transferred to her and her child with diabetes has yet to have been born. She begs and pleads, but this time I feel nothing, I just don't care. I keep my head down and keep reading my book as people fork over their hard earned money to this scam artist. When I look up she is right in from of me, and she looks at me and asks if I could spare some cash to get her home.

I look her straight in the eye and say, "Three weeks ago you almost got me to feel bad, but now that you are stranded in Boston again you are either an idiot or a scam artist," and I walk away. A few people start giggling, she doesn't know what to say, and one bold woman asks for her five dollars back!

Now, am I heartless or is it just living in the city?

My Big Fat Gay Weekend Part 2

Well this weekend was so big fat and gay that I had to write about it in two separate posts! So I left off mentioning that Raf throws another party at ESTATE on Sundays. Usually, I don't go out on Sunday because as a responsible young manager, it would not make sense to be out until 2:00am when you have to work at 9:00am. But this Sunday was different. At 10:30 I drove to go pick up DJ.R at his house and then swung by to pick up SC. JCH was going to meet us at the club because he was taking the train in.

We got to ESTATE at 11:00 walked in to a pretty crowded night that just got more crowded, apparently they were at capacity a little after midnight and you could tell because you could barely move from one spot to the next, this is always good for Raf, but it sucks for me because I am short and get pushed out of the way. Now in Raf true style the party has to be the best in the city and he always does this with lights, music and shows, and for some additional fun this weekend he made sure that Kira was working the snow machine, so it was "snowing" inside for two hours, a very cool effect with the lights. We hung out had a few beers danced and talked to people. I even met the bartender from Saturday night who was really nice to me and we talked for a bit. Of course we were there until 2:00 in the morning, and had to wait outside in the bitter cold for SC to come out of the club. I was cursing because it was so f-ing cold!

Because it was a holiday weekend, and nobody had school or work on Monday there was no parking on the street, so we had to park at the Radisson hotel, usually its not that big of a deal to get out of there but Sunday night it was a nightmare. We finally got back to the car around 2:20 and it took a while to even be able to back out of my spot on the first floor because the traffic coming out of the garage was bumper to bumper and two cars wide. Once we got out of the spot and were in the queue to pay and leave all hell broke loose as two cars tried to cut people off in a very limited space. I didn't have much room to move out of the way so I just kept moving forward, but this much bigger Lexus kept getting closer to my car until I let him move forward so that I wouldn't get hit. As I did this a large man gets out of the passenger side door, clearly intoxicated and begins hitting the cars around him with his fist. At this point I decide to back off a bit and let him move forward but the traffic is not allowing me to do this. He starts giving people the finger bouncing around and cursing at people. I have not patience and I want to run the ass over but I figure that would not look good on my driving record. My passengers are pissed too and JCH even call to report them as aggressive drivers, and I take a picture of their plate with my camera phone. This turns out to be a good idea because about five minutes later they get to the front of the line right in front of me the passenger jumps in the car and they run through the bar at the booth without paying for parking. I provide the parking attendant with the plate number and tell him that JCH is on the phone reporting them as we speak. We pay and escape the drama and I am off to drop the boys off and then go home to sleep.

Monday is usually a back to work day, and I am normally up by 8:00 and at work by 9:00. However, with the Holiday I didn't have to work but I couldn't sleep in, I agreed to pick up the doctor at the airport in the morning since he was coming back from sunny Florida. Usually when I pick up the doctor from the airport he is late and I have to circle the airport a few times until he lands. This drives me nuts so I decided to cut it close and get there right before he landed, but of course I hit every red light, traffic, and his flight landed early. Once I got there and picked him up I accidentally took the wrong tunnel back into the city! I suck with directions and I do things like this very often! So instead of taking him home we decided that since we were closer to the Trader Joe's in Cambridge we would go wine shopping since he was out of red wine in his apartment. (The doctor and I get together on Tuesdays and watch all sorts of fun reality television and share a bottle of red wine). We bought a case of wine which should last us a good time and headed back to the doctors house. I helped unpack the car and then went to grab some food because I was starving and I had other errands to run before I finally made it to the gym at 5:00 that evening.

I was at the gym from 5:00- 6:45 and then had a friends birthday party to go to at 7:00. I went over to D's house for the party, stayed until 9:30 and then I had to go home because it was time to get ready to rejoin the real world on Tuesday!

Every once in a while it is good to have a crazy weekend and blow off some steam, but man was I exhausted from this weekend. I think I am going to need a vacation to recover!

My Big Fat Gay Weekend

Every once in a while you have a weekend that is out of the ordinary. It may contain things you do every weekend. It may include those regular tasks that need to be completed but there are just so many other things. This weekend was one of those big fat gay weekends in the life of a 27 year old gay man.

Friday night is usually a low key night, lots of the boys go to Machine here in Boston, but I am not a big fan so Friday gives me the opportunity to lay low and relax. This Friday I actually don't remember so much. I didn't do anything that nuts I am pretty sure i went to the gym and then had dinner at D's house, probably watched TV and then came home.

Saturday is always a fun day, generally what you do on Saturday is get ready to go out on Saturday night! That involves the gym, getting your haircut, tanning blah blah all those things that gay men do. So on Saturday I woke up and ran some errands and did some things around the house. I have some work that is going to be started in my house this week so I had to empty my bedroom. I moved all of my furniture and bed out of the way of the contractors and I will be living in my spare rooms and living room for the next ten days. After that I was off to the gym. At the gym I ran for 45 minutes to burn some fat, lifted arms and chest, just so they looked better in the tight t-shirt I was planning on wearing. After the gym I went to have dinner and with a friend and then I was home to nap, shower, and shave. After getting ready I was off to pick up friends (I almost always drive) and I was off to EPIC Saturdays.

EPIC Saturdays take place at the Roxy and my friend Raf is the promoter. EPIC is one big dance party with a new DJ every week and where most of the gays go on Saturday night. I am there most Saturday nights with the boys supporting my friend and having a good time. This weekend wasn't any different, I was there with the boys and we danced and had a great time. Usually after EPIC we all head home for the night and crash. This weekend was not a normal weekend, I am not sure why, maybe it was because the Doctor wasn't around (the sane friend) or because we all wanted to dance some more but as we were walking out the door of EPIC we were handed a pass to go to Rise, we looked at it and decided, well why the hell not.

RISE is an after hours club that is opened until 6:30am. They don't serve alcohol but a lot of people go there to dance after the club is closed. A lot of the people there are using some sort of illegal substance but even for those of us like me and the friends who just drank you can still have a great time. JCH had never been to RISE before so he was very shy and standing up against the wall but SC, DJ R, C1, and myself all went to the middle of the floor with a red bull in one hand, our shirts in the other, and danced our butts off. Because it was a holiday weekend RISE was even packed but it was a great time! We danced until 5am and then I dropped off all the boys and went home. I got home and sat on my couch and was sleeping by 5:30am. I got a few hours of sleep and was up on Sunday morning at 10:30 for gay brunch.

Gay brunch is one of the most important parts of any Big Gay Weekend, it is when you get together with the boys, nurse a hangover, and talk about the night before. It is the bitchiest you will be all weekend as you spill the dirt from Saturday. This week a few of the boys slept through brunch, and since the Doctor was away (and he usually cooks) we went to Stella for brunch. After brunch I went to D's house, ran some errands with him, then came home and napped and watched TV including the Pats game and the Giants game (yeah some gays like football). After that D took some pictures for me. Then it was off to get ready for another one of Raf's nights.

Sunday night Raf hosts the party at ESTATE... this is going to be the end of part one of my big gay weekend because I am far too tired to write the rest of this post! That is one of the side effects of being out all night!

I Think My Cat Has A Problem

I think that my cat has a problem. She keeps trying to drink my wine.

It is different if she is curious and tries to stick her nose in it once, but she keeps coming back to the glass and trying to lap it up like it is milk. I think I may have to enroll her in ACA (Alcoholic Cats Anonymous).

Bad Tipsy (err wait I guess her name is appropriate again)!

Monsoon

I woke up extra early this morning because we had to do a system upgrade at the store, which means I had to run the store open before I dialed into a conference call at 8:25 (yes 8:25 I have no idea why not 8:30). So, I woke up hopped in a shower, and ironed my clothing while watching the news. The weather on the news kept calling for heavy downpours this morning as a front moved in. Once I finished ironing I went to my bedroom window, opened the blinds and looked out. The pavement was wet but it wasn't more than drizzling out at the moment. I finished getting dressed, brushing my teeth, feeding the cats and then gathered my stuff to leave. I made sure I had an umbrella and a plastic bag to put it in after it was used. I zipped up my jacket stepped outside my door, looked up at the skylight when a bolt of lightening streaks across the sky, and immediately following the clouds upon up releasing a torrential downpour.

I walk down the stairs to the front of the building and try to figure out how I am going to make the ten minute walk to the train, and even though I woke up early I am still feeling the time crunch. First thing I do is transfer all of the contents in my pockets into my bag and place the plastic bag over all of my stuff in my bag, I press the release button on my umbrella and it pops open, I step out into the driving rain and begin walking in the direction of the train. Nobody is on the road or sidewalk, I am the lone fool out in this mess. My feet are getting soaked and the wind is blowing the umbrella in every direction. I am so glad that my mother bought me a waterproof winter jacket this Christmas but unfortunately it did not come with waterproof work pants and shoes.

The lightening is flashing around me and the thunder booms and the only two things I can think of as I try to stay remotely dry is that 1) I am going to be stuck by lightening and the upgrade won't be completed and my boss will be pissed and 2) It's January right, in the year I have been working at my new store I have never faced a thunderstorm either on my to or from the train station and now in January this is happening. I have now made it three quarters of the way to the station and I look down and notice that not only are my feet soaked, but my pants are dripping water from my knee downward. I decide to cut my losses and run the rest of the way in my dress shoes and sopping wet wool pants as I am being buffeted by the wind and my umbrella is trying to take flight. I realize that if there was anybody else on the street they would point and laugh at me. However, all the sane, non-retail working people are indoors and protected from this weather.

I finally make it to the T stop and luckily the train is right there. I am soaked and have hair product dripping into my eyes. The few people on the train all look like drowned rats, and we are all cursing this damn New England weather, I am sure it is going to snow tomorrow!

Where Have I Been

Once again, I went MIA for a couple weeks. The way the Holidays fell this year was very odd for the retail minded folk like myself and the weeks came and went and before I knew it I was writing week ending 1/05/08 on a sales email today. Which triggered the "Holy Crap its actually 2008!

Considering how snowy the Holiday season was this year we ended up making out OK in the sales department, no not great, but it really could have been worse. I also had Christmas Eve off this year for the first time in close to six years. So, my last Friday of work I awoke early and wrangled the cats into their carriers and brought them to work with me. Everybody always loves when there are animals (or small children) in a place of employment because that is pretty much a guarantee that the owner of these animals will let you goof off with them longer then normal. This was the case as each and every one of my employees wanted to come in and bother my cats. Bob loved it because he is an attention whore, Tipsy hid most of the day in my filing cabinet. Unfortunately I could not get her to sit appropriately in the C folder or the T folder!

While home for the Holidays we baked cookies got together for numerous dinners exchanged gifts, some played guitar hero (I did not) and had a great time. I even got to go to the bar with a few friends who live in NY. It was good to be home with the family, and I was disappointed that my trip had to be so short. As a matter of fact, I ended up leaving on Christmas day around 9 at night so that I could be back to open the store on the 26. This began my utter confusion on what day was what and where I was supposed to be.

I worked the 26- 29, I was off on the 30, worked on the 31 until 4, off on the 1st, worked on the 2- 4 and off on the 5, but on the 3rd I had a water pipe break in the basement so I ended up not coming in until 1:00pm. It was a very confusing schedule especially since half the managers were off on some of these days and the employees were in and out.

I didn't do anything major for New Years (mainly because I hate the holiday) and also because I was home in Boston and worked on New Years Eve. I ended up hanging out at G&S's house with some other friends and drinking wine and champagne until all hours of the morning until it began to snow. It was actually a nice relaxed and low key New Years and no surprising news the day after like last year (H told me she was pregnant as I was driving back from RI).

It was back to work on Wednesday for three days and then off this weekend. I was planning on blogging this weekend but on Saturday night after the gym I got really sick. I think I ate something that disagreed with my stomach because it all came and went very fast, but I was laid up incapacitated for several hours that night.

And now it is Monday evening, I am trying to get back into a normal schedule. My goal is to get to the gym five days a week, so far I have been successful with that at least at the end of last week. I also want to be in bed and sleeping by 12:30 at least three nights a week. I know that sounds late to people but I am rarely in bed before 2am and it has been getting later and it has been affecting my performance. I have not however, been successful at changing my sleep pattern, at least not yet.

Other things:

1) Finished The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat
2) Spent three hours with the contractor designing my new closet
3) Another long brunch on Sunday
4) Changed some things on the blog
5) Survived Buyback
6) Rush is right around the corner
7) Survived the cold days last week- although my eyeballs froze
8) Didn't kill all the amateurs at the gym on cell phones
8) Have returned to blogging

Hope everybody has a safe and happy 2008, and many more!

Reading All Over

On the bottom of the column on the left hand side of the page is a map of the world (a ClustrMap) and it shows me where people are reading my blog and you all can see it as well.

I think it is really cool that people all over the world are reading my blog, not only all over the US but in Canada and way up in Alaska, all over Europe including Portugal, England, France (hi Sarah) and in Japan and a bunch in Australia! I even get excited when a dot pops up in an area where one has not previously been!

So since I think it is so cool I just figured I would say hello to all of you all over the world and please feel free to say hello to me as well in the comments section!

On Global Warming

Just a quick note, I now officially throw my support behind the candidate that SUPPORTS global warming, because quite honestly three snow storms in a seven day period and way below normal temperatures are not enjoyable. I think that global warming sounds like a great idea, at least in New England.

On Not Judging A Book By Its Cover

In the book business it is easy to forget the old adage our mothers told us, "Don't judge a book by it's cover." After all if people didn't judge books by there covers then Chip Kidd wouldn't have a job. (Chip Kidd is one of the most famous book cover designers and graphic artists in the book business). In the bookstore business we put out books that catch peoples attention, not only by the content but also by the cover. A bad cover can mean that a book doesn't get prominently displayed, if a book does poorly in hardcover, be sure that the cover will be reinvented in the paperback edition. I can tell you that in the bookstore business we are even a little bit stuck up when it comes to covers, because we always- ALWAYS hate the MTI (movie tie in) cover, it is always cheesy looking I promise you.

Now this little rant brings me to the point of this post, the second book post in a row which is very odd for me. I just finished (yes in one day) reading The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, a book written by and about the 53 year old editor of french Elle, who suffers a stroke and is stuck in a locked in state. He is not in a coma and is aware of his surroundings but he is completely paralyzed, his only mode of communication with the outside world is done by blinking his left eye. And while in this state he wrote a book! This is an uplifting story about a man who refused to die, even though his body was essentially dead.. It is a very short book but it is well written and moving.

Now how does these two connect? When I picked up the book out of the biography section at my store, the only edition we had available was the MTI cover, it looked cheesy! As a matter of fact there is a young girl on the cover who I later learned really has no role in the book. I almost immediately put the book down and moved on to L's next suggestion. I am not sure what pushed me to give the book a second chance, but I flipped it over and read the back cover and I decided that it could make the first cut. The book seemed like it could be interesting, but how could a good book have such a crappy cover, then again Atonement is really good, and it has an awful MTI cover now. The book finally made it through all the cuts based on the story and not on the cover, and after finishing Kavalier and Clay I was looking for a short piece of non-fiction to read this week, and it was the one I picked up. I have to say I was a bit embarrassed reading it on the train (cheesy cover again) but I am glad that I read it. It definitely was an interesting and uplifting book.

See, mom was right, you shouldn't judge a book by its cover... however, if I were to ever put this book out on a table, it would be with the regular cover not the MTI one!

So Worth It

I finally finished the Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay... yes it took me a little over a month to finish it, but it is 650 pages long. It is one of those books that people either love or they hate, and I loved it. There was so much more than the comics in this book.

This is possibly one of the most intriguing books I have ever read, who would have thought a book involving comic books would be so interesting! (I guess L, who recommended it to me knew though) Joe Kavalier is a fascinating character, who is not able to see all that he has, and Sam Clay longs for the time when he can be accepted for who he is. The reader follows the ups and downs in their lives not knowing what to expect thanks to Chabon's vivid imagination. I was entranced with his writing and words, and enthralled with his clever imagination. There are many touching and poignant scenes and phrases that I feel I can see when I close my eyes. All in all, one of my most satisfying reads. It ranks up there with my long term favorite Shadow of the Wind, mainly because the characters are so real, and after 650 pages you are still wanting more!

It was definitely worth the time I put in, and a great way to spend a snowy Boston day (after I shoveled out my car)!

Snow = Death to Sales

Ten years ago if you got a one day snow storm and everybody around you closed, it was OK because people still had to go to the stores and shop at some point. Now, when it snows and people get sent home from work and can't go shopping you will not recover those sales. Why? Well, because of the Internet. All of these people that still need to do their Christmas shopping will have the chance to shop online without the silly interruption of the workday. All they need to do is pop onto a website, pick out gifts for their loved ones, enter some credit card information and bam... Christmas shopping is complete!

Needless to say, I am slightly panicked~ it is obviously the Christmas season, and everything around me is closing at 2:00pm, it is snowing heavily and while we have some customers now, I am going to lose about half of my sales for the day, and I have no ability to regain these sales. I am pretty much screwed, up shits creek without a paddle and all of that.

I hate snow, a little flurry during the Holiday season puts shoppers in the mood, it reminds customers that Christmas is around the corner, but a major snow storm is not what we need to drive people into the store.

Snow definitely does equal death to strong holiday sales! Damn!

When Worlds Collide

Yesterday I had to mail some additional Christmas Cards that I hadn't sent with my first batch. I was in a rush because I wanted to get them out so people would actually have them before the Holiday, plus I was on my short lunch break and I wanted to have time to eat.

I left the store at like 2:00 and was waiting in line at the Post Office by 2:05 and I only had to wait for about 10 minutes to get to the front of the line, get my stamps, and drop the cards in the mail. I was actually in a pretty good mood, something that is rare this time of year and I walked next door to the ABP. I was gently ladling my Tomato Bisque into a cup when I heard the whiny grating voice of the "Snapple Lady."

The "Snapple Lady" is a clearly disturbed woman, who shops at my store on a fairly regular basis. She is one of the few crazy customers that I simply can't tolerate. I generally duck and run for cover when she appears because she is just that annoying. She always buys approximately four Snapples and then needs to put them in her bag. But our counter is never big enough for her to place her multiple bags on the counter and maneuver the four bottles of Snapple in there. She always complains (once again in her whiny strained voice) that we need to build bigger counters because we are discriminating against women. Other whiny complaints also include needing wider aisles because we are discriminating against fat people and that our escalators move to fast.

But back to the worlds colliding... so when I hear "Snapple Lady's" voice I abruptly drop the ladle into the soup, splashing it all over the counter and try to plan my escape without her seeing me. Unfortunately, the sound of the dropping ladle has caught her attention and I am spotted, I decide to pretend not to notice her as she harasses the poor cashier. I finish getting my soup and bread bowl and gently walk towards the line. It appears that "Snapple Lady" can't find her card anywhere in one of her bags... this is apparently a new bag, and the counters at ABP are too small for her to find anything. She continues to whine and curse and sputter looking for her card for at least five minutes where I seem to go undetected. As I slowly sneak up to the cash register directly behind where she is throwing her fit she notices who I am and exclaims... "YOU ARE THAT GUY AT THAT STORE, YOU ARE BAD PEOPLE."

The cashier looks at me with that level of understanding that is only possible when you work with the public. She finally find her card, mutters more to herself and then finally leaves. I pay for my soup, put myself together and head out the door. On my way out I say to the poor cashier who had to handle "Snapple Lady."

"She is one of my favorites"

She replies, "Yeah, no kidding she is one in a million."

It is weird when your work life collides with your non-working life, but I guess it is part of the deal, and it does make me feel better knowing that I am not the only person that "Snapple Lady" drives crazy!

Not So Lucky Strike

I hate bad service, it makes me crazy when I get bad service, when I see people getting bad service or most of all when any of my employees deliver bad service. Therefore, when I was bowling on Thursday with H and a few other people from another store (as in 14 people total) and had to deal bitchy attendants and waitstaff I was not at all amused.

I actually told this story at my pre-opening meeting on Friday because it shows that when you deliver bad service it is very quick to spread and can negatively impact your business. As the old retail adage goes, an unhappy customer always tells 10 people about a negative experience, but they never tell people about a positive one. I would have never told my employees about a night out bowling if I had a good time and received good service.

Anyway, back to the story! On Thursday night I went out with H to go bowling at a place on Landsdowne called Lucky Strike (part of Jillians). We had been there a few times before and received decent service and had a good time. H and the other12 people got there a bit before me because I was closing my store and didn't get there until 7. Once I got there and found them they told me to go downstairs and add myself to lane 22. I went downstairs and waited in line to add myself and when I got to the front and mentioned this to the woman she grunted at me and told me that we all better hurry up because she had a party coming in at 8:30 and we needed to be done by then. I was kind of taken aback by her bluntness but figured maybe she was having a bad day, and she was very busy. As I was leaving I asked her where I could get my ever so stylish bowling shoes and she rolled her eyes and pointed upstairs. I got my shoes and went back and joined the party. It was my turn to bowl already since everybody was hurrying to get through the games (after all there was a party coming in at 8:30).

Things were going well, until it was time to order food from the ditsy waitress, who could not keep things straight and brought us more of some things and none of others. Then when we asked for our food tab we were all charged for items we did not receive. It took 20 minutes for all of us to settle up.

And while we were settling up the bitch from downstairs arrived. She wanted to tell us that we only had 20 minutes left until the other party arrived so we would need to hurry up or she would have to kick us off of the lane. I look up at her and tell her that we are well aware of this fact because she told us 6 times each, another woman chimed in and said, "plus we only have two frames remaining."

At 8:20, the lanes are turned off, we have not finished bowling because of all the drama with the tabs and we were told that we had until 8:30, I was quite upset because we have been respectful of this places wishes even though they have negatively impacted us and we have not been treated with respect. I go to take my shoes of and return them as I am not ever planning on returning to this establishment again, and another associate from the other store goes down to figure out what was going on. It appears that the woman felt we were going to take to long so she shut down the lanes. I didn't have the energy to go down there and argue with her and get our $140 bucks back (10 a piece) so I just decided to tell everybody I know that they shouldn't ever go to Lucky Strike!

By the way, I am an awful bowler I came in 13th out of 14.

Launch Codes??

After killing three of the same style phones in a six month period (I have no idea how) I got a new phone this week. Well, not exactly a phone, I got the new Verizon Wireless Blackberry Pearl. This means that in the palm of my hands I can access the Internet, check my emails, make a phone call, type in the address I am going to and get directions, send a text message, access instant messenger and a number of other things I have yet to figure out.

I love that my email pops up as soon as I receive it, I love that I was lost last night and all I had to do was pull over and type in the address and I got a map and turn by turn directions. I am constantly in touch, and it is not much bigger than my previous phone. I love technology and I think it is the greatest thing that I can do all of these cool things on my little device. My problem is that no matter how much I love technology, I am not very good when it comes to using it. Even the simplest things on my old phone can confuse me on my new phone (called S's wrong number the other night). And while I am getting better and learning how to use all of the features I am afraid that while I am learning I will accidentally type in the nuclear launch codes and start WWIII... if this happens I am very sorry!

It's That Time Again

Every six months we get an extra discount on books at my store. Usually once during the summer and once during the Holiday season. This year because Hanukkah falls early, the extra discount is slightly earlier. As usual, I bought a bunch of books for myself, because I need to treat myself to books for Christmas because nobody in their right mind would buy me them.

As usual I consulted Lisa on the books that I should purchase, and with a little of my own input I purchased 13 books for $100.40 (I saved 82.19)! I got some fiction and some non-fiction, some classics and some new stuff, of course some travel writing and biographies, and even a title that is technically teen fiction but has won tons of awards and is supposed to be excellent. So here is the list of some of the books I bought...

Fiction
Book Thief (teen fiction one)
Death in the Andes
Unbearable Lightness of Being
If You Liked School You'll Love Work
White Noise

Non-Fiction
The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
The Boy Who Fell Out of the Sky
Heat
Into the Wild
Looming Tower
A Year in the Merde
Notes from a Small Island
The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat

I know I went a little heavy on the non-fiction this time when I usually try to keep it even, but there were so many books that I wanted to read that I had to hold off somewhere. If I allowed myself unlimited books I would have been poor (er) and very sad.

Ah, and an update on my progress in The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay... I am 400 pages in and I am enjoying it, it has been slow going with the Holiday and stuff but I only have 223 pages left and I am definitely going to finish it. I will even have a sense of accomplishment when it is done. And just in case you were wondering, I am really enjoying it.

Tis The Season for "Hey Santa"

The Holidays are here in full force in the retail world which means that it is time for the stores to have all of the holiday displays and decorations up. I have already even done some of my Christmas shopping. As hard as the Holidays can be in retail I also love this time of year, the influx of customers and overall Holiday cheer is great to see. I love making book recommendations and assisting customers purchase presents for loved ones.

One of the ways to put customers in the happy Holiday spirit is through playing Holiday music in the store. After a while the same five Cd's will drive the employees nuts but chances are a customer will not be in for five straight hours so they will hear some of their favorite holiday songs and want to shop. It lifts the spirits of even some of the most stressed shoppers. This year however, my music is not under lock and key as it was last year, and some employees and other managers keep changing my Cd's. Today when I came into work I didn't feel like I was in a winter wonderland, I felt like I was in Southern Italy (or a bad Italian restaurant). I immediately went to the CD player and changed all of the Cd's to Holiday themed songs. I also put a sign on the CD Player telling people that I would remove their fingers if I found non-holiday music in the player.

Thirty minutes later I hear Eric Clapton's new CD playing, this is not Christmas music! I immediately return to the player and change the Cd's and then hunt down the culprit. I was so pissed because my sign had even disappeared and I had to find who took my sign and changed the music. I found my sign ripped up in the trash receptacle of one of my managers who was not in today. It was a well played move, however, I knew I would still find the person who had done this (and I did). I calmly explained to them the reasoning behind this and they looked at me like I was crazy, but seemed to respect that it was my decision and I am ALWAYS RIGHT.

So the motto of this story is that even if Hey Santa drives you crazy, not hearing Hey Santa or something of the sort will drive me crazier.

(If you know nothing about the song "Hey Santa," please refer to last holidays posts!)

Bad Driving

First off, I know I have been MIA almost all month, no I did not die at my birthday party, I even managed to make it to brunch the following morning at a reasonable hour. Work has been nuts (I have hired and fired about 6 people in the last 3 weeks) and of course it is the Holiday season. This year will not be as crazy as last year was (at least for me) when it comes to the Holidays but there is still a lot to do. I hope that I can get back on a usual blogging schedule as well because as I have said it helps me de-stress and deal with all of the crazy days.

I am back in Boston now, and back to work today after a few days off in New York with the family. It is always good to go home even if it is for a short period of time. I love my family even if they drive me nuts and I love being home for the holidays. When and if that day comes when I am not in New York with the family on the holidays it will be weird. I drove down to New York on Thursday morning, and I think that was one of my biggest mistakes.

I haven't driven my car in close to two months for a number of reasons. I started it every once in a while, but didn't even drive it around the block. But it is getting cold now, and I needed to drive to New York for the holiday so it was time to put the car back on the road. I am however, a notoriously bad driver, my friends hate when I am the driver. Not because I do things horribly wrong behind the wheel but because my vision is bad, I don't know my left from my right and some people think I drive to fast while others think I drive to slow. Also, I am always on the phone and even when I am not I never have both hands on the wheel. So add to these weaknesses some heavy traffic and for the first time driving for a long distance with my contacts in and we are pretty much waiting for a disaster.

I left at 10:15 in the morning and the first 30 minutes was smooth sailing until I got to 495 and the traffic began. Now I have admitted that I am a bad driver but the people on the road on Thursday morning were ridiculous. People were flying up the shoulder of the road, forcing themselves into already packed lanes, cutting people off and stomping on their breaks inches from the car in front of them. I was making a valiant effort to avoid impending catastrophes by calmly listening to my music and remaining off of my phone, but as the hours passed and traffic wasn't moving I became more and more frustrated and ever so bored. So I began dancing to my I-Pod (the new once since my bag at work was stolen) and making phone calls to wish people a happy turkey day (gobble gobble). At this point I ma three hours into a trip that normally takes three hours and I am at least 90 minutes from my destination.

Through Hartford I am traveling at about 85 miles an hour in the center lane and I still have people up my ass and passing me all over. Trucks are flying down the right lane an barrelling practically into the trunks of compact cars. Older couples are merging into the highway at 30 miles per hour and accelerating to 40. I am exhausted, my knee hurts and I fear for the lives of some of these people on the road, especially since I have witnessed at least 4 close calls.

When I finally make it all the way through to Waterbury, traffic stops, like a dead stop that you see in the cartoons where all the cars pile up onto one another. we sit and don't move. I am stressed because I am missing so much time with my family, and I have to pee so bad. We are not moving and all I see ahead of me is bright red tail lights, all of the drivers seen as frustrated as I am and are doing very stupid things. My blood boils for over an hour as I sit in traffic, my stomach is churning because I haven't eaten. I am saving myself for Thanksgiving dinner after all. It looks like traffic is about to break, I can see flashing lights from police cars, and bright spotlights on the road, as I drive closer I notice that there are trees all over the road, nice trees not branches, as a matter of fact, it appears a Christmas Tree truck has lost its entire load of trees all over 84. Tis the season!

It is close to 5:00pm when myself and my car stagger into my aunt's house for dinner. I am exhausted but it is good to see family, and I am glad that I made it home, I can only hope that all the other bad drivers on the road that day made it home as well.

Shakespeare: The World As Stage

So, I didn't hate Shakespeare: The World As Stage. I finished the last few pages this morning and enjoyed learning a few random facts, like the agree upon spelling of his name is actually not one of the spellings that he ever used, but he did spell his name at least six different ways. I also learned that there is no agreed upon order for his plays, and some people don't even think he actually existed. Ah yes, and you know that picture you have in your mind of what William Shakespeare looks like, well that may not be what he looks like because it is based on an artist sketch that was done well after his death.

Now I agree none of these are groundbreaking, and I probably should have learned all this in high school when studying Shakespeare but I really didn't care for any of his plays, and never really paid that much attention to what was going on in class when we were studying him. I find that I would probably appreciate Macbeth or Hamlet more if I read them today, I would have a better understanding, much like I actually appreciate The Great Gatsby and The Stranger now, when I didn't when I first read them. However, I don't think I can go back and read any Shakespeare but we will see.

I am now off to my next challenge, I started reading The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay. I was going to start reading it a few months ago, but I opted out because it is close to 600 pages. This scared me because I am a slow reader and I was worried that I would get bogged down and not be able to finish. I guess we will see how things go, I am already 40 pages in so it is going pretty fast.

Happy One Year Anniversary "Stuff On My Mind"

Almost One Year Part 2

And now I will continue with some of my favorite posts as I approach the one year anniversary of the blog, and the second anniversary of my twenty fifth birthday. I mentioned to S last night that I was blogging for almost a year now and he was shocked, he is getting to that age where time starts accelerating... must suck to get old (oh wait!) So here we go with some more of my favorite posts, i narrowed in down for the second half otherwise I would be going on forever...

March 13, 2007 Another Note On Darwin- a very short post on one of my important observations regarding the survival of the fittest.

April 7, 2007 Mobey On My Pocket- I am going through a new batch of hires again, but nobody has topped the girl whose objective was to get a job to put "Mobey on her pocket." It is still a joke around the store, we laugh at this poor girl non-stop.

April 23, 2007 Super Duper Catch Up Post- A post that involves fat people in small clothing, revolving doors, escalators, Rollerblades, sunburns and much much more.

April 27, 2007 My Jeans Have Been Found- Finally, after months of being gone my missing jeans have been found, a conclusion to a saga... Or is it?

May 13, 2007 Fall Down Go Boom- It was the start of the summer and I was out on my Rollerblades, I always fall at least once each season, and it is always in dramatic fashion, this time it involved a stray dog on a leash and some people blocking my path.

June 3, 2007 When Good Nights Go Terribly Wrong- This post marks a turning point, or at least I hope a turning point in my life. It was S's Birthday and I did not behave, I lost my mind and went completely bonkers. Out of body experience pissed for no reason, and I ruined S's Birthday. Since then we have obviously made up, and I hope that I have grown from this, I have been better at controlling my temper and S and I have not fought since. It's a good sign, and I have been dealing with frustration much better.

June 7, 2007 Learning from My Temper- Again, another part of my turning point, where C smacks me upside the head with the obvious. I think I have learned and grown up, maybe one of the biggest lessons of the year.

June 18, 2007 Please Don't Get Naked in My Store- This is just a hint but the store is public, nakedness is not acceptable in public, please keep your clothing on. Yes, I am talking to you man in your underwear on my sales floor.

July 6, 2007 The Opposite First Date- I had a bad one earlier in the year, and this was a good one. Things didn't work out but we are still friends and it was one of the best first dates I have had.

July 31, 2007 Water Country, Water Country, Water Country... Have Some Fun- 30 year olds on water slides and Bible Lady Makes an appearance outside of the bookstore.

August 27, 2007 Pop Goes the Soda- It was right before Rush and it was a huge mess.

September 3, 2007 Blue Light???- DJ R got drunk, and he never drinks, it was hilarious. Now make sure if the light is about to turn blue you run!

September 10, 2007- Violence is the Answer, Isn't It??- I believe that if you are an idiot I should have the right to kick you. I think it is a good way for me to control my anger... by taking it out on the source of the anger.

October 19, 2007 Women and Men Are The Same Size- The most recent post on this list is about a woman who didn't understand the different sizes in the store, she drove me nuts.

And those are my tons of favorite posts for the year so far, I hope I have many more entertaining ones for you. I am sorry that I was not able to make the links work, but you can search by month or by title on the blog so you should be able to find them. Happy Anniversary Stuff on My Mind, who woulda thought you would last this long!

Almost One Year Part 1

This week marks the one year anniversary for the blog, its kind of weird to go back and take a look at what I have been through in the past year. I had a birthday, I went through Christmas in my old store, I got a promotion and my assistant got my old job. I started a new job, had jury duty, read over 20 books. I had fights, had first dates both good and bad, fell for a boy (we will see where that goes). The cats were sick, had some moments of being depressed, I got angry and happy, went on vacation, went on business trips, Britney even shaved her head, I guess it has been a crazy year for lots of people!

So what I decided to do this week, leading up to my birthday, and the one year anniversary of this blog was to revisit some of my favorite posts and maybe even comment on some of the posts I have made. Starting from some of my original posts back last November.

November 14, 2006 The Not So Artful Interview- this is one of my favorite posts, and I really wish that all of the candidates that were coming in for interviews would read this post.

November 24, 2006 S Wants to Be Entertained- This is when you all first realized that I was crazy, now you expect it but I think it caught a few of you by surprise at first.

December 6, 2006 Day 12.5 Who Invited the 80's Back- No seriously who invited the 80's back? It is not okay.

December 7, 2006 Day 14 I Can Share the Good News and Bibles- Where I announced my promotion and introduced my readers to the Bible Lady... yes she eats the bible!

December 11, 2006 Day 18 We Had an Emergency- Woman gets locked in bathroom- must save her by prying doors off hinges!

December 19, 2006 Day 26 I Don't Speak Crazy- This is a recurring topic and issue, but I am sorry, I just don't speak crazy so I don't understand what you crazy people want.

January 24, 2007 Note to self...- It is always a bad idea to read text messages when you are in meetings, especially at a new job. This was all S's fault.

February 8, 2007 Ojos Asi y Comiendo Mierda- I really, Really, REALLY hate it when people go to the gym and don't work out. The gym is not the place to have phone conversations and complete business strategies.

February 19, 2007 Cone Heads- After poor Bob had the unfortunate operation and had to spend two weeks wearing a cone around his head I discovered and ingenious plan to stop the idiots of the world! I would strap cones around their heads and force them to wear them around for extended periods of time. It really is a great idea!

February 21, 2007 My Favorite News Story- Britney Spears shaved her head, I named her my first real life person to get a cone, unfortunately nobody took me seriously and she has totally lost control, even today 7 months later. If only the Cone Head plan had been adopted worldwide.

Well there are a few months worth, I had a lot of favorites in December because it was such a busy time for me. I have some other favorites I will share in Part 2, coming up later this week

Funny Looks For Funny Books

One of the first books I read when I started riding the T to work was Getting Stoned with Savages. Remember I was getting funny looks on the train when I was reading this book, and I even left it on the train one morning in a fit of discombobulation. Well, I enjoyed this book and the only reason I read his second book first was because my old store didn't have Sex Lives of Cannibals in stock when I bought the second book.


So, the last book I finished reading was Troost's first book, The Sex Lives of Cannibals, this book is not about sex or cannibals, although it does remotely touch on these subjects, this book is about the author and his time he spend with his wife on an equatorial atoll in the Pacific. An atoll is a coral reef that reaches above sea level to form an island.

Not only was I reading this book on the train, and getting funny looks, much like the ones I received for reading Getting Stoned with Savages, but I also go very funny looks on the plane ride to Rochester from fellow passengers. I still don't understand the need to look at me funny for the books I choose to read. This title is a perfectly legitimate book about an authors travels in a foreign land. It looks at the cultural differences of this nation and how it effected the author. I learned things that I would not have otherwise known. No the authors writing wasn't exquisite, and no it was not an earth shattering book, but it is also not Nora Roberts or Danielle Steel, and I don't look at you all funny for reading that shit. Well, maybe I do!

Now, for those of you who don't approve of my previous choices, I am currently reading Shakespeare: The World as Stage, by Bill Bryson. This is not a usual selection for me, especially since I hated William Shakespeare in high school and college. But, it is after all by Bill Bryson and I do love Mr. Bryson, so when I only had 80 pages left to read of Sex Lives of Cannibals I decided to borrow it from the store. I am about 100 pages into the book and so far, so good, it is not my favorite Bryson, but it is entertaining and a fast read. I have even learned a few interesting facts about the playwright- like there is no place where his name is spelled the same. I guess when I finish I will have to let you all know how I feel about Mr. Shakespeare!

Remember When

I was very lucky as a child, I had the opportunity to travel on airplanes with my family on trips around the US. I have never really been afraid of flying because it was always a fun, exciting, and comfortable experience for me. I remember getting on the plane and being greeted by smiling friendly flight attendants (stewardesses back then) who would take an interest in every child as if it were there own. And really, why just smile when you could coo, gush, and give presents to these young travelers. Now obviously over the past 27 years I have grown older, I don't expect flight attendants and start talking me in baby talk, I don't expect them to go all mushy on me, as a matter of fact if they did I would be a little weirded out. i do however, expect them to be friendly and polite, and willing to help all passengers in a kind courteous way. It is a business after all, and just like I expect my employees to treat customers with dignity and respect, the airlines should expect the same from their flight crews.

Lately I have found flight attendants rude, unattractive, unprofessional and sometimes downright mean to passengers. The one exception to this rule is Jet Blue, they may not have the best on time flights, but they have always been respectful and helpful, plus they give you cool little TV's to watch.

1) Rude flight attendants- On my flight to Rochester for business yesterday I was confronted by a very rude flight attendant. This flight is a business shuttle flight with all suits and expense accounts, these are all people who fly on a regular basis. The flight attendant was blatantly absent as we boarded yesterday, and when she did appear she got on the loudspeaker and without any formalities or introductions told everybody to take their seats because we were late and needed to take off. She then went over the in-flight safety instructions and when she was finished she went up to people and yelled at those who were not paying attention. She even asked me if I knew where my flotation device was. I was of course snotty and responded, "Yes my seat can be used as a flotation device in case of emergency." I also pointed out the exit doors and then asked the flight attendant how many oceans we would be flying over on our way from Boston to Rochester! For all you geography nuts the answer is none so if the plane were to crash I don't think I would need the seat flotation.

2) Unattractive flight attendants- I am a gay man, but I have a problem with unattractive flight attendants. Its just the way it always was, I guess I don't like change, but shouldn't these women (and men) at least be mildly attractive. Isn't that part of the romance of flying?

3) Unprofessional flight attendants- The Delta flight attendants on my recent trip to Florida were wearing T-shirts and jeans. The looked sloppy and unprofessional. I didn't feel like I could trust these people if there was a sudden emergency on the plane. I know it is all outward appearance but it means a lot to people like me. I feel like I can trust a professionally dressed flight attendant more than I can trust a slob with a seat belt that is not attached to anything, you need to look the part for me to trust you!

4) Downright rude flight attendants- aforementioned bitch from my flight to Rochester was just not a nice person. After we got in the air a passenger inappropriately stood up a bit to early and started to move towards the bathroom. Nobody on the plane thought anything of it, but the flight attendant got on the intercom and berated this man for standing up to soon. He blushed and ran back to his chair, but I think he may have peed his pants on the flight. There was really no need for her to yell at him over the intercom.

Right now I am sitting in the airport terminal in Rochester, hoping that my flight back to Boston is a pleasant one, with charming and witty and attractive flight attendants. I always enjoy those flights. There are still great flight attendants out there- like my hilarious woman who cracked jokes with all the passengers on a recent trip back from Indiana, its just not the same as it used to be, I remember why flying was always an enjoyable experience, even on a bad flight. Soon they are just going to vacuum pack us and ship us on our way, that way they can fit 900 people on one little putt putt plane.

Bloody Eyes (and not for Halloween)

Well, this week was another hard week, it was busy at work, and it was especially busy because I missed two days of work because of a really gross eye infection. On Tuesday night my eye was a bit uncomfortable, I wasn't sure why it was bothering me but I did know that something was not right. I put a few wetting drops in my eye and since I was exhausted I decided that I would lay down for at least a nap, but probably more like a good nights rest. I slept fairly well but was aware of the fact that my eye was still uncomfortable.

When I woke upon Wednesday morning I noticed that I really couldn't see well out of my eye, and i was insanely sensitive to the light. I stumbled into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. I could barely open my eye without pulling up on the eyelid and the lights were causing excruciating pain. I went into my bedroom fumbled for my phone and called into work, then I looked for the phone number for my eye doctor. It took me forever to find it with barely one eye, I called to see if I could get an appointment immediately and found that they weren't opened until 10:30. I left a message and went back to laying in the dark. I even had to turn off the TV because the flashing light was irritating. I lay ed in bed until 11:30 when the eye doctor called me back and told me that nobody would be able to see me today, I was in so much pin that I did not find this acceptable and asked if I could go to another office. They found a doctor who could see me in the afternoon in downtown Boston, but I needed a referral for a primary care provider, I don't have a PCP and was not in any position to do research to find one.

After a few phone calls back and forth they figured out a way to take me, and apparently everything was covered by my insurance. So I had a 4pm appointment, but I quickly realized that there was no way that I was no way I could get to the appointment by myself. So, the next thing I had to do was find a ride to the doctor, I started making phone calls, but most people I know have jobs or are in school full time so it is hard to find somebody who is available in the early afternoon. And to make matters worse the condition of my eye was not improving.

I finally convinced my sister to come and get me and drive me there, by the time she was here all you could see in my left eye was murky bloodiness, it was like a Halloween but a couple days early. It was really not pretty. It turns out that I had a corneal abrasion that got infected. The first night I had to put drops in my eye every fifteen minutes until 10:00pm then every 30 minutes and then every two hours throughout the night. I am still using the eye drops four times a day and they have me on oral antibiotics. I have regained a majority of my vision in my left eye and I can type and read again. I don't need to wear sunglasses indoors anymore, and overall things are much better. I had to throw out my contacts, and I can't put anything in my eyes for another two weeks but i didn't loose my eye. I was really worried it was going to fall out or something.

Living in the Moment

Is it true that the only way to true happiness is to live in the moment? What is to be said for thinking about the future? And how far into the future should I think? All i know is I have butterflies in my stomach when I am around him, and we get along so well and have such a great time.

Necrotizing Fasciitis

Necrotizing Fasciitis is an interesting title for a post, but I just finished reading Complications, and the last case in the book dealt with this bacterial infection commonly known as flesh eating disease (or disorder). This bacteria enters through a small cut, scratch or other break in the skin and begins to eat away at the underlying tissue. Yeah gross I know! In a number of cases by the time it is caught it has spread throughout the body, and since it doesn't respond to antibiotics it is very difficult to treat. The case in the book had a positive outcome, and the woman's leg was saved, although they did have to cut it opened and scrape out the dead and dying tissue along with a number of other things necessary to rid the body of this bacteria.

There are a couple of reasons why this story, and a lot of the book stuck with me. First of all this disease is gross and it freaks me out, secondly, the author writes this story with a passion that is rarely seen, and thirdly, I get bumps breaks bruises cuts and blisters all the time at work, what if I am unlucky and somehow end up with this bacteria in me. OK, am I freaking out, after all this is a fairly rare occurrence, but lets take into account the injuries of this week.

1) Cut and swollen thumb from moving a fixture.
2) Two open blisters on my feet from my dress shoes in the humidity of Florida
3) Cut on my pinkie from a halogen light that broke while I was changing it
4) A slice across my palm from a security tag I was trying to remove as a customer pulled the garment violently from my hand
5) I scraped knee from a violent fall up the escalator.

Now this is five visible and possible entry ways for this bacteria in just one week, which would average out to 260 opportunities per year. I am not loving my odds. Yuck Yuck Yuck. I know there are other things that I should be worrying about, hell like tetanus, but I have had my tetanus shot and tetanus will not eat you body from the inside out, with very little warning and devastating results.

I guess this is the sign of a good book, not only did I feel for the doctors involved in the case, and the patient, but I also I was worried for people who may end up with something as devastating as this, including myself. OK, maybe not a sign of a good book just a sign of my neurosis and self centered attitude.

The one final thing that freaks me out, the doctor guessed right and that is why they were able to save this girls leg. THE DOCTOR GUESSED, yes maybe it was an educated GUESS, but it was still a GUESS!

Oh yes and have I mentioned YUCK!

It Has Been A Week (or two)

This time last week I was in Florida with the family getting ready for the Wedding of my cousin J and his new wife L. I had known about the wedding for well over a year but in my typical style I waited until the last minute to get everything done. Its not like in the past 18 months I didn't have time to go to get my suit altered (or buy a new one) but I waited until the week before to do so. When I went to pick it up the Thursday before I was flying out it was not altered correctly and I was panic stricken and yelled at the tailor (very sorry sir it was the stress). I finally got my suit later that morning and made it to work only an hour and a half late.

To make matters worse last week, or the week prior to the wedding actually, I had one of the worst stomach bugs I have had in years. I missed a day of work because I was throwing up, and I got sick a few times at work the day before and the day after. A stomach bug and stress (and no eating) do not mesh well. I was a mess, an absolutely exhausted and disorganized mess when I was packing on Thursday, and by the time I got to the airport on Friday afternoon after working for 6 hours I felt like I had been run over by a Mack Truck.

I met my sister at the airport, and we argued over the best way for me to check my luggage, and also had to pull my suit out of my luggage so I could carry it on, just in case. We finally got all of this set, checked in, and went to go get something to eat. I was so excited to have solid food and so exhausted that I forgot about the stomach bug and had a Buffalo Chicken sandwich, (thank god that didn't backfire on me on the plane).

The flight was delayed, as I would have expected, after all it was the week I was having. The problem was we had a connecting flight in Atlanta so we were very worried that we would miss that connection and be stranded with very nice clothing and no wedding to go to. We made the connection, however, because the flight from Atlanta was delayed as well. After leaving work at 3:45 that afternoon, I finally arrived in Florida a little after midnight, and we still had an hour ride to my parents house in Tampa. When we got to the house I had to shower and shave and pull my suit out so hopefully the airplane induced wrinkles would fall out (they didn't). I got to sleep around 2:00 am but I was lucky enough to not have to have my hair done like my mom and sister in the morning so I was able to sleep until 11:00.

The wedding was beautiful, it took place at a mansion in Sarasota, and the service began outdoors at sunset in a gazebo overlooking the ocean. Granted it was hot in a suit in the hot Florida sun, but the wedding really was very pretty. Oh yes, and my family (as in immediate family) was by far the best dressed people at the wedding (excluding the bride and groom). We pride ourselves on that! The two days we spend in Florida where a whirlwind of activity, wedding, drinks with family, brunch, Tampa, Uncles house, and then it seemed like just a couple hours after we had landed we were back at the airport waiting for our flight home. Which left early and landed on time.

Usually a weekend in Florida is supposed to be restful and enjoyable, and while it was nice to see the family, this past weekend was neither. On the plane ride home I tried to cram my two mental health weekend days into a few hours while my sister typed up lesson plans on her laptop. That's the funny thing about the real world as you get older. I remember when we were kids and we would play card on the plane and goof around. Now we had to focus on the things we had to get done, my sister was worried about her students, and while I was desperately trying to relax I was planning my week out in my head. I was outlining the presentation I was expected to have prepared for a meeting on Thursday, I was worrying about a store visit that was supposed to happen on Wednesday. It is funny to me how things have changed, it seems like just yesterday I was leaving for college (that was nine years ago). Now I have been with my company for nine years, and my sister has her masters and is teaching 18 lil third grade munchkins.

We landed safe and my cousin and his girlfriend picked us up at the airport. He drove me home and then brought my sister back home. It was officially time to start the next week even though it was 10:30 at night. I needed to iron my clothing and get my bag sorted out with all of the things I needed and remove all of the things that I didn't need. I was in bed by 12:30 and ready to start my crazy week with payroll on Monday morning.

I survived the presentation, and the visit went well. I interviewed a few candidate for open supervisor positions because one of my supervisors left and one was promoted to a manager position at another store. I interviewed new candidate off of craigslist and did expenses. I hung up a new rack system in our back newly cleaned out space and worked on clearing the conference room of the fixtures temporarily stored there. On top of all of this I did the regular day to day things, and I am exhausted, plus I am working Saturday. Thank goodness I have Sunday off I am going to need to sleep a lot and recover from all of this fun. Wish me luck!

Women and Men Are the Same Size

Today I was paged to the front of the store, we have been having credit card issues and other things so I figured it had to do with that. But I was wrong, I walked up to the front and a customer assaulted me with questions. She wanted to know why two t-shirts that were the same size (as in Small) on the tags were actually different sizes (as in amount of fabric contained in the garment). I took a look at the two pieces and immediately noticed that one was a women's shirt and therefore was women's sizing and one was a men's shirt and therefore unisex sizing. I calmly explained that to the customer who told me that I wasn't answering her question. She wanted to know why they were different sizes! I tried saying the same thing differently... "Ma'am, these are two different style shirts, one is a men's style and the other is a women's style, since men and women are generally built differently the cut of the clothing is different, hence the size is different."

Nope, that doesn't work either she wanted the sizes to be the same. But sizes aren't going to be the same we carry infant stuff (1 size system), children's stuff (1 size system), Men's stuff (unisex sizing), women's stuff (women's sizing) and Juniors (young women's sizing)! Now would it be right if infant sizing was the same as men's sizing was the same as Juniors sizing, I don't think so! But I believe that what she really wanted was for me to carry only one size and style of t-shirt... I shall call this sizing system "Fat Cow Trailer Trash Bitch Sizing!!

Love the Book, Hate the Ending

A few days ago I finished reading Blindness by Saramago. I loved the book, it was hard to get into at first but the storyline was amazing. You get to see how an epidemic will effect the entire population of a country. This novel was incredibly thought-provoking. It is a deep commentary on society's blindness and the affects it has on all aspects of life. His characters are incredibly vivid, and their responses to the stimuli, both positive and negative, provided by their environment truly brought to light questions about what it means to be a human in the age of modernity.This blindness reduces the entire civilization to its primitive animistic roots. The lack of punctuation and extended paragraphs contributes to the story as the reader unconsciously reads the book at a rapid and panic stricken pace.

I loved the book as a whole, I however, was very disappointed in the ending. I was all tied up very quickly and neatly and some of the story lines were not completed. I find it hard to recommend this book to readers because as many fantastic qualities this book possessed it still lacked a strong ending.

I am reading Complications now, I am pretty sure the ending of this book will not make me crazy.

The Difference Between Me and My Customers

Last Friday I noticed something very disturbing, I noticed that my new Kenneth Cole shoes that I spent $180 on about four months ago were breaking. The leather was separating from the sole and I was very upset for a few reasons...

1) I paid $180 and I expected them to last
2) I wear them all the time and I had a hard time finding comfortable black shoes for my fat feet.
3) I needed to wear them for the wedding in Florida this weekend, and i have no money to buy new shoes

I asked a few people at the store what I should do, and most of the people said i had no chance exchanging these shoes for new ones. The girls at customer service thought I was nuts for even thinking about it. However, I called S and he told me to bring them back and demand that they replace them. So, I decided to go back to KC and see what they could do for me. On Friday afternoon, after work I took the train over to the store with my shoes on and a copy of my bank statement showing that I had purchased these shoes just 3 months before.

I walked into the store and looked for the person who seemed to be the authority figure, they are usually easy to pinpoint, I walked over to her and calmly explained the situation. She looks at my shoes and exclaims, "Oh, no that is not supposed to happen!" She tells me to go pick out a replacement and she will exchange them for me without a problem. I am elated because I was worried that I would need to buy new shoes for the wedding. I had a little bit of trouble finding a replacement that fit because I have short fat feet, but with some help from the wonderful sales person I was able to find a pair to replace my broken shoes. I took my old shoes off, handed them off to the associate, and put on my new shoes and walked out with a $30.00 credit. I have to say i was very happy with the entire experience, and very happy that I spent the money on the shoes, because the service makes it all worthwhile- ah yes and it balances out to $90 a pair.

Now, here is the difference between me and my customers. I can be a huge ass, but I was calm when I walked into the store to return my shoes, I calmly explained my situation and was sweet to the associate. When she agreed to accept these shoes as I return I thanked her and expressed my gratitude. My customers would have walked in, yelled, thrown the shoes, and when I would have been nice enough to grant them something, they would have wanted more. But I was happy with what I received, quite honestly I was expecting less! It is a big difference, but I guess it is a difference you can only appreciate when you work in the business.

Why I Don't Cook Reason #467

I went to go make myself some dinner, nothing fancy just some garlic bread and pasta. Sounds easy right, well it is but I am brain dead and that is the reason why I don't cook. I boiled the water and put in the pasta, while the oven was pre-heating. I put some garlic bread on a pan and wrapped in in aluminum foil, when the oven was ready I was stirring my pasta but I grabbed the pan and threw it in the oven. I ran to the other room for a few and then came back and continued to prepare, my pasta was done and so was my sauce, so I took a peek in the oven for the garlic bread. Well the pan was in there, but I seemed to have lost the garlic bread, I look around the kitchen, very confused, and there right on the stove top is a cylinder of aluminium containing my garlic bread, damn I am so lost sometimes.

I guess I am not as bad as S though, the other night when I was talking to him on the phone he reached into his oven and grabbed a pan without an oven mitt on, but there is still time for that to be reason #468!