Do You Ever...

... wake up in the middle of the night and wonder about things?

I do all the time and sometimes its happy things and other times its sad. Sometimes its silly stuff like work and other times I am feeling philosophical and its about the meaning of life. Tonight I was just thinking about happiness, its a pretty general concept but as a whole it seems to elude people. I wondered about when I was the happiest and if I am happy now. Sure certain things make me happy and I have good friends that make me smile, but am I happy?

I think this whole line of thinking was brought on when an older gentleman I used to work with passed away unexpectedly. He was a sweet guy, holding down two jobs, serving on medical and school boards and overall just trying to be a great man. Sure, he had his shortcomings, and he wasn't awesome at his job but he was always trying, and even if he wasn't he could always get your Red Sox or even Rolling Stones tickets.

He passed away last week alone in his apartment and he has no family in the area. The university is working on services but they aren't sure when his body will be released, and this just makes me wonder if he was truly happy or was he just living his life. People around the square will all remember him wandering around in his shorts (from that school across the river) and asking about all the neighborhood information. He would ask you about your family and what you were doing. He wished me the best of luck when I left in December and you always got the feeling that he really cared about the people around him.

I just hope that he was happy in his last moments, he deserves to be.