Short Letters

Dear Pickles-

I like to have extra of you on my sandwich, can you please tell the lady that gives you out to allow me to have extra ones. All I want on my sandwich is tomatoes and extra pickles. The man in front of me had 12 different things on his sandwich for no extra charge... just tell her I shouldn't have to pay extra for a few more of you!

Thank you,
JRH

Dear Neighboors Below Us-

Thank you very much for sending us a text message saying we have very nice decorations, we appreciate that. Now could you please take down your decorations which are not very nice. As a matter of fact they look like Santa threw up all over your windows. Also, please stop adding tacky stuff to the front common area, other neighbors are going to confuse you hideousness with something I may have done.

Sincerly,
JRH

Dear Miss Rude Customer-

I am happy that you insist that you didn't steal that book that was never opened, still in the plastic wrap, and not used last semester, however, without a receipt or proof of schedule I can not buy it back from you. However, if you were nicer to me I might have provided you with other options.

Just a hint for the future,
JRH


Dear Man Falling Off Path-

Thank you for checking out that girl, falling off the sidewalk, down the hill and into a puddle. It was like the movies, and it made my day! Although I feel bad for laughing at you.

Sincerly,
The Man behind You

2 comments:

Allison said...

Hahahah! I love all of these (because I am often thinking the same sorts of things). Especially the one about the book-returner. Ha!

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