This is not a laughing matter, this is actually a serious blog for me. I have been writing this post over the past few days and nights to deal with what happened to me on Saturday night when I was walking home with my friends from a fun night out as part of my goodbye to the city.
Many of you have read some of my blogs and heard me joke that violence is the answer, and while I was joking I feel bad saying those things now. I was the victim of violence. Violence that shook me to the core.
Some of you have read the stories in the media today and know about what happened on Saturday night. It is weird that the full stories printed in the media are the best recollection I have. Quite honestly I am fuzzy from moments before the attack all the way through Sunday.
I don't remember the attack... I don't remember the people who attacked me... I remember the bruises I woke up with... I remember hearing my friend scream in the hospital.... I remember looking over and seeing my friend with an IV in his arm and blood gushing from his forehead. I remember the stories I was told. I remember feeling dizzy and wanting to puke.
I remember when I used to feel safe in Boston, not the invincible kind of safe but the "Hey let me go move my car and I'll be right back" kind of safety. Now I sat in my car for 10 minutes on Tuesday thinking about getting out.
I was lucky, a few bruises a few kicks to the head and maybe thirty minutes of being out and not knowing what is going on is kind of lucky all things considered. A concussion is not being dead. All of my friends being alive is a blessing. But it is still hard for me to think about being beaten down and kick in the head because of who I am.
I am lucky because I have family who loves me, I am lucky because I have friends who love me and want me to be OK. I am lucky because I am alive.
I am mad because the people who did this to me and my friends are still out there, I am mad because I cry at night because I am scared, I am sad because a place I considered my home has been ruined by senseless violence.
I am not sure how this attack will shape my life, I will get back to normal, I will survive and all of us will. We are luck, we are strong, and we are proud of who we are! That will never change and if everybody felt that way then maybe just maybe we could put an end to all of the senseless violence in the world.
And now I vow that I am not going to cry anymore, I am not going to let this affect my life in a negative way. I am going to live my life safely but I am going to be myself.
I AM GOING TO LIVE MY LIFE!
Much love to everybody out there and all of you who have sent me warm and positive wishes. I love you all