Our Love: In More Than 100 Words

Boy meets boy, boy falls for boy, and boys get engaged. The pure existence of our love is not always accepted. We had to deal with hatred from outsiders and support one another in recovery. Our love story involves the evolution of the meaning of love and the perseverance that allowed two people such as us to openly experience happiness. We knew that we were right for each other from the start, we knew that we would always be by one another’s sides and that as best friends we could truly experience our love openly.

If only the complete story of our love could be spoken in 100 words or less. That broad stroke encompasses our lives together but the story is much more complex.

The Doctor and I met through a mutual friend in the Boston area and we quickly became the best of friends. I knew from the moment I met the Doctor he would be a part of my life forever. It was a rare occasion that we would be out separately. We were completely at ease with each other, and we knew that we could be ourselves. As the months passed we grew closer, but we knew that the friendship would always be the basis of our relationship.

As the Doctor’s time in Boston drew to a close he accepted a position down in Washington DC. This is when we reached a cross road in our relationship, and I made the decision to follow the Doctor to DC. A few nights before we were due to leave the Doctor went to the Cape to spend time with friends and family and I went out with a few close friends. This night is when our lives changed dramatically.

As I was walking home from that night out with friends a car approached and four men got out. One of them screamed, “die faggot die,” as he kicked my head into the pavement. Then ran off with his friends to his car, driving away, leaving me unconscious in the middle of the street. A witness pulled up, making sure on-coming cars wouldn’t run me over. My friends watched, tears welling up, as they loaded me into the ambulance. I don’t remember anything. I woke up in the hospital. I turned to see my friend in the other bed, also a victim of this hate, still bleeding from his scalp. My own head was throbbing.

I was sad lonely and confused, but I was told the Doctor was on his way back from the Cape to be by our sides.

Once I was discharged the Doctor took care of me, he took me out to the Cape with his family (the first time I met many of them) and nursed me back to health. I returned to work a few days later and we began to prepare for our move.

Months later, I sat in the courtroom, finally seeing the face of the man whose violent attack sent me to the emergency room. I watched and listened as he admitted his guilt and his hatred. He was guilty on all nine counts including four counts of civil rights violations. 

My head was spinning and my legs were trembling as I approached the microphone to deliver my statement. I described what the attacks had done to me. How I awoke every night at 2:44 AM reliving the nightmare and how I could never look at my “home” of Boston the same again. 

Returning to the bench, I was comforted by the Doctor and another of the victims. We squeezed hands, knowing that we were all lucky to be alive.

It was a surreal experience.

As the Doctor and I returned to Washington DC, we were determined to move on, but there was still something nagging me inside. How could this man who openly expressed such hatred be free. So with the Doctor by my side I became an unlikely activist and began to speak out. The community rallied around us and for the first time in our lives we realized that good can come of every situation. The Doctor never questioned me, he supported and loved me and he knew this was important. As the press picked up the case he even acted as a press secretary directing the madness around me.

Our love was stronger than all of this. Our love allowed us to persevere. All relationships are hard, but we had to overcome many obstacles to openly experience our love. But the obstacles have made both of us stronger, the hate from others has tested our love, and neither of us have any doubt about where we stand.

I proposed to the Doctor on October 10, 2009 in an unplanned moment sitting in front of the fire in our new place. I knew that no matter what, I needed this amazing man by my side for the rest of my life. The Doctor said yes and we have been engaged now for four months and we love every moment of it. We will always face those people who do no accept us, but we will stand up together and show them that we are proud, and we are going to be happily MARRIED for a very long time.

It feels so good to say MARRIED and know that in a few months we will LEGALLY be married in DC, and our relationship will begin another exciting chapter.



Anonymous said...

Congratulations to you both, on finding the love of your lives. I, like many others, wish there was something I could do to put an end to the hate. The best I can do for now, is to continue to stand up to the biggots and pledge to continue to educate my son so that he grows up to be a compassionate person. I am very sorry to hear that you were injured by someone else's hatred and ignorance. I pray that you will never come up against something/someone like that again. Best wishes to you both. I hope that you continue to find as much love, comfort and strength in each other as my husband and I have found together.


Anonymous said...

How fantastic for you both! I just saw you in the advocate and had to read your entire story. Congrats to you both and I will see you in line on March 3rd when I too will be getting my marriage lisence with my fiancee:)


Anonymous said...

I know you don't mean it that way - but "the Doctor" makes it sound like you are some silly trophy wife that cares nothing about the person, but only about the fact that he is a Doctor. Couldn't you find something else to tag him? Please, for the sake of your relationship, if you refer to him like that in life, stop it now.