I Hate Lettuce

I haven't posted in such a long time because April is end of year at my job, I have been so busy, and so crazy that I haven't even had a chance to read my favorite blogs in over a week. Today is not much different, but this issue is important and I felt a need to write about it (to make me feel better).

The issue at hand is the fact that I HATE lettuce. I know you can all make fun of me but I really hate it, and the fact that it is common on sandwiches is a problem for me. So much so that when I order a sandwich I am always sure that I repeat (at least once) that I would like said sandwich with NO lettuce. Therefore, when I get a sandwich with lettuce I am very disappointed and I will bring it back and ask for another that does not have lettuce on it. Usually my friends at ABP know that I don't like lettuce and i have made it a habit to go there for lunch (usually 3 times a week). Today, because it was nice, I went across the street to Cosi to get a sandwich, I was kind of on a tight schedule, but I figured that I had enough time to grab a sandwich get back to my office and eat it before my meeting.

I ordered and the woman who took my order even repeated back to me the NO LETTUCE part, I took this as a good sign and when I got my sandwich a few minutes later I walked back to my store grabbed a bottle of water (answered a page) and went to my office to eat. I unwrap the sandwich and notice a string of shredded lettuce, SHIT, I exclaim as I open the wrap my sandwich is housed in, my buffalo chicken is covered completely in shredded lettuce and I have 10 minutes before my meeting now. I attempt to remove as much as possible and then eat the chicken (without the tomato I asked for) but I kept chomping into the crunchy leafy water strings that was the shredded lettuce in my sandwich and I gag. I'm serious lettuce makes me gag. I ended up throwing out half of my sandwich and munching on the chips they gave me that I was going to throw out. It made me VERY VERY MAD!

Yes, I really hate lettuce enough to post on my blog about it!

17 comments:

Silence of Joe said...

Finally someone who understand my contempt for that awful awful awful awful thing called lettuce!!!

Thank you... I feel less alone now

Anonymous said...

OH MY GOD I HAVE A KINDERED SPIRIT LOL just kidding

man i really hate lettuce i cant even look at it. it makes me sick just seing it and touching the leaves even worse i know ill sound strange but i wash my hands if i ever get in contact with the L word.

Anonymous said...

I hate lettuce too :D ITs disgusting. I just googled in the words "I hate lettuce" and your blog came up, so im happy to share our common interest :D

Anonymous said...

I get a salad bag each week and every week there is a whole lettuce! I hate lettuce too. I have tried to give away my weekly lettuce to no avail. Currently considering buying a rabbit as I can't bear the waste of throwing it away!

PLiNiO said...

OHHHMYYYGODDD
i totally did the same THING!! i googled i hate lettuce...and your blog came upp haha so im obligued to leave a comment even if this has been here from 2008!!!so to the point...I HATE LETTUCEEE SOO MUCH! SO MUTHERFUCKING MUCH!!
and i am always ALWAYS SOO SOO PISSEDD when i get a burger ,sandwhich ANYTHING with lettuce after i obviously asked for one without IT..and just the smell of it...even taking it off the burger and tasting it..that freaking grassy scent's there!!!! I HATE ITTT!!!

Karen said...

Thank god I'm not the only one!! My boyfriend thinks I am absolutely NUTS because he can sit there and bite into a freakin head of lettuse like it's an apple or something. I totally agree with the person who said lettuce makes them gag...I have tried eating it to no avail. People think you're crazy when you say you don't eat salad for god's sake it's like you're saying you strangle bunnies for a living or something. I don't like most vegetables at all anyway, but especially any kind of salad....yuck...it's like eating grass.

Anonymous said...

Oh how I hate the bitter tast of lettuce......and trying to losee weight....welll..... they all say "EAT HEAPS OF LETTUCE SALADS" hmmph no wonder I don't diet.
joyzbee

Anonymous said...

Thank goodness that I'm not the only one! Absolutely everyone I know gets mad at me because I just can not physically eat lettuce. I went to dinner with my girlfriend and her family tonight and to try and make my girlfriend happy I ate some of her salad. After one bite I nearly spewed all over the table. I don't know why lettuce makes me gag but it is so terrible!

Kindred Spirit said...

I have something like an allergy to SOME THING on shredded lettuce. I get sick. SICK. I CAN eat large amounts of whole lettuce or chopped lettuce... But shredded lettuce can put me in bed for a day.

Long story short - Consider yourself lucky that all you do is gag if you eat shredded lettuce.

I was web surfing to find out what illness inducing chemical is put on the shredded version but instead only found your blog ;-)

Anonymous said...

Omg, united. Lettuce makes me sick to no end.

Anonymous said...

Not only do I hate lettuce I;m disgusted by all rabbit food.

Anonymous said...

As we all know the L word effects us all but I can't stand the taste and everytime I get a sandwhich if there is a single price I will take it back and watch them make it I gag so much if I eat it and it is just a terrible thing that should never be grown but I finally have people that feel the same way now I know I'm not alone. LETTUCE US EVIL.

Justin said...

I freaking HATE LETTUCE!!!! It totally screws up the taste of an otherwise tasty piece of meat and bread.

The only green I can stand is Cucumber, and a teensy bit of parsley (finely chopped).

Anonymous said...

Im not alone!! Thank goodness. I always thought i was the only one. People look at me like i have 13 heads! Ive tried and tried to like it but nope! And people dont understand that the taste is awful and are like i dont understand why you dont like it it tastes like water. NO!! IT TASTES LIKE DEATH.

SCHNOODLE said...

I don't mind whole leaf lettuce on a sandwich but...I ABSOLUTELY HATE SHREDDED LETTUCE! I know it's the same thing, only shredded, but...I HATE SHREDDED LETTUCE! Thank you for reading : )

Unknown said...

Here it is 10 years later, and I share your common hate for lettuce. I actually just got so irritated by someone looking at me crazy, I googled "people who hate lettuce".

Unknown said...

Yes! I hate lettuce so much. I can't even stand the smell of it. People have tried to argue with me that it doesn't have a smell bit I swear I can smell it from across the room.