Sad, Sad State

I apologize in advance- this post may run off in a few different tangents!

I was walking to get my haircut yesterday, and the woman who cuts my hair happens to be located right by a college campus. As I was walking I noticed a sign for an American Red Cross Blood Drive, but something on the sign struck me as odd. I stopped and backtracked to the sign and read it all the way through. Ah yes, this sign did indeed say "Free Gas Card with Donation."

I love my country and I am proud to be an American, but I knew this country was in the shitter 8 years ago when somebody (name shall go unmentioned) was elected and put in the White House. Hell, even my father (pretty hardcore republican) thinks that this unnamed person is the worst president of his lifetime. I hope I didn't give away who I was talking about (Bush... cough cough). But seriously, is the economy so bad that we are giving away gas cards to people who donate blood? I wonder if the number of donations skyrocketed when people were promised free gas for blood. I don't know it just seems freaky like for every liter of blood you donate we will give you a gallon of gas. That's right ladies and gentleman five bucks a liter, hows that for a deal!

And then I got to thinking, gas prices are through the roof lately, maybe I should go donate blood, but alas, I am gay, therefore no blood donations and no free gas. Wait that seems slightly discriminatory after all I have to pay as much for gas as all you straights. Ah, but my blood is diseased*, yes its called gay blood, and the last thing we need is gayness in the blood of straight people. Can you imagine if you got a blood transfusion of gay blood when you are straight, I think it would go something like this...

Wife: Thank god you survived that horrible car accident and they had blood in the blood bank that was a match for you.

Husband: Still woozy from surgery... yes honey I am lucky to be alive

Wife: But Honey they told me that the only blood that was available was from a gay man...

Husband: Well that explains why I am attracted to my doctor now!

I mean that would be awful if that gay disease started spreading like that, so now I understand why I can't donate blood. Oh yeah, and I also can't donate blood because I am deathly afraid of needles, like pass out for an hour afraid!

And this post was definitely a random one but I needed to post it to get these things out of my brain. It was bothering me and I wanted other people to know that. And now... I can go on vacation!

*Please note family members who may read this blog, my blood is not actually diseased but because I am gay the American Red Cross does not accept donations from me because I am at "high risk."


Bibliolatrist said...

Are you serious?!?!? I had no idea gay people couldn't donate blood...that's the dumbest shit I ever heard. You learn something new every day, huh?

Andi said...

Wow, I didn't know that either. That's positively the stupidest thing I've heard in a while, and I hear stupid things quite often.

Bibliolatrist said...

Back again. I tagged you for a short creative-writing activity...come visit to find out more!