I just got off the phone with my ex-bf who lives in NYC. He called me because he just got my text message from Saturday night and wanted to know what happened. We got caught up a bit and then talked about Saturday night. Of all the people in my life he really knows me the best, not only because we dated for 7 months and have been friends ever since but because he is a lot like me.
C is a few years older than me and has been through a lot of things. He works retail as well and has a strong personality with my temper. Hmm, I wonder why we are no longer together! We talk on a regular basis and when I was stranded in the City because I was being a bitch I sent him a text, unfortunately he was away with his new bf and didn't have his cell phone.
The first thing out of his mouth when we started talking about Saturday was "What did you do?" He knew that I must have lost my temper and blown a gasket. We talked about things and had one of those rare heart to hearts about life, blah blah, full of cliches. It was a very Oprah and Dr. Phil discussion (he played both of those roles) and I was the dysfunctional guest. The one thing that he did say is that, "I need to learn from my temper." I don't need to learn from my mistakes in this case, I need to learn from my temper. The difference is that I need to know that I have a temper and I need to know what is going to trigger it. I also need to learn to walk away and take a deep breath. I need to do what I do at work and try to make a rational decision about my behavior.
Yes, I was aware of what I need to do, but I needed to hear somebody smack me upside the head with it. And it was better that it was somebody who has had the same problem as me. I know he has bad trouble with his temper and he is much more under control now. I need to learn from my temper and learn how I can control it. A walk a deep breath and removing myself from the situation a bit. Each experience (good or bad) gives us a chance to learn and grow. I need to use this as an opportunity to become a better person.
Thanks to C, who yelled at me in a loving way I get it now, its going to be hard work but it is something I need to do.