I Need Tall Buildings and Warm Water

I will admit here that I was a raging b word yesterday and I apologize for being so darn grumpy. We had a crazy weekend this weekend with the Holiday, a large BBQ with my family and friends, and then on Sunday the Doctor wanted to go White Water Tubing in West Virginia. The BBQ was fantastic and apparently I raised the bar when it comes to family BBQ's... damn I am good. The problem arose with the white water tubing, which in theory sounds like a good time. But I an not a nature person, and the fact that it was in WV did not help.

On Sunday morning we met up with friends, loaded in the cars, late as usual because people are slow as s**t, and we were off to West Virginia. To start off, apparently the GPS thought that going to West Virgina would be a bad idea, it decided that it wanted us to stop on the Rock Creek Parkway and not even go, sighting our destination as a roadside stop with trees. Once we got on the highway the GPS immediately veered us off the highway away from West Virgina... maybe she knew that West Virgina was a bad idea.

Once we finally arrived in West Virgina, already over 45 minutes late despite the fact that the Doctor told everybody to arrive an hour early, we stopped to grab beer and lunch. Thank god I ate half of my sandwich before we got to the river because the other half became waterlogged immediately. As we get closer our XM loses satalite signal, apparently XM dislikes West Virginia as well. We get out at the site and the first thing I see is a pickup truck with the confederate flag in the rear view mirror. Really is this where I want to be right now?

Dear god get me out of here I am so out of place, where is my smog and my tall buildings! We walk up to the barn where we get all of our equipment and as we walk I notice a very odd sight behind the barn, I look closer and I see that a painted school bus has run over Santa Claus... I am not kidding a red velvet Santa suit is displayed on the front of the bus making it look like Santa was run over and left on the front grate of the bus to rot away... Can we say disturbing?

Once we get into the barn and we get our tubes my mood really begins to sour as I worry that the water is going to be freezing cold (compared to what a half Cuban boy like me would prefer...85 degrees). I am really uncomfortable in cold water and hate feeling like that. Granted its not an excuse for being unbearably bitchy, but it is the main reason behind it.

After watching a safety video (which was ridiculous) we are then loaded into a bus... not the one that ran over Santa, and taken down to the river. The guide tells us that the river is about 80 degrees and I cheer up slightly, but just for a moment. They off load the group of 10... and we are sent on our merry way out into the river.

I set foot in the water and immediately begin spitting venom. The water in my opinion is no where near 80 degrees, and the fact that I need to get into this water is painful. I step back, refusing to submit myself to this torture, until I am yelled at an realize I don't really have much of a choice. I am not kidding when I say I spent half of the trip shivering because I was truly freezing. The rest of the group was enjoying themselves, drinking beer, and obviously not feeling the cold, but I could not pull myself out of the pit.

The Doctor says that your outlook can change your perception of a situation, and my outlook was horrific, so my experience was awful. I unfortunately did not enjoy a minute on the river for a few reasons, one because I was cold, two because the river smelled funny, three because the sun wasn't out, four because there were bugs everywhere, and five... because I was determined not to enjoy myself.

I was really an despicable person for the rest of the time even giving the Doctor the finger from across the river because he had dragged me on this trip. So, I apologize for not trying to have a better time. I am sorry for being a raging b word all day yesterday, but I am not sure that I can apologize for not liking West Virginia.

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