When I heard a passenger on the T utter "People Think I am Crazy, but I am not, REALLY I'm not," as I got on the train I should have turned around and gotten off and waited for the next train, but instead I got on and sat down and had quite a trip home on the Orange Line.
I was trying to finish reading Salt because I really don't want to be reading the same book for three weeks. I read about a half a line when the woman who uttered this aforementioned line stood up, bent over, and started "picking up" imaginary papers off of the floor and ranting about how her mother once slipped on all of these papers that were on the floor and fell under the train. Now, we are on the train so it would be quite an amazing feat to slip on papers inside the train and catapult yourself out and under the train in one swift move.
Once she is done picking up these imaginary papers she turns to the guy sitting next to me and yells "Do you work for the T?" "If you work for the T I need to talk to you about all these papers on the floor!"
The man very nicely says "No ma'am I don't I am sorry."
"YES YOU DO, AND YOU ARE THE REASON MY MOTHER SLIPPED AND FELL UNDER THE TRAIN, HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF IT WERE YOUR GRANDMOTHER!"
Yes, she said grandmother, which I didn't quite understand but I guess I really shouldn't look for this conversation to make sense. At this point people are trying to slowly move away to the other side of the train. I am still trying to read my book but I am three seats away from crazy paper lady.
"IF SHE WAS YOUR GRANDMOTHER, YOU WOULD HAVE TAKEN CARE OF HER, SHE WAS MY MOTHER, TRAIN, PAPERS..."
She then continues to pick up papers and mumble to herself... once she is done with that she sits back down and talks loudly to the woman across the aisle knitting, and how she used to knit when she was in the Army. Again, this makes no sense to me but I don't think I should be looking for sense in this rant.
As I approach my stop I continue to try to avoid eye contact but she looks at me and asks me if I understand what she is saying. I look her in the eyes and muster up a little bit of sincerity in my voice and say...
"If people think you are crazy then I don't know what is wrong with them!" And I step off the train.